Madonna Spanked & Humped Anderson Cooper Onstage, Made Him Eat A Banana

by | PopCrush
Mike Coppola, Getty Images

What happens at a Madonna concert, does not stay at a Madonna concert.

Last night, during the raucous Queen of Pop’s second Rebel Heart Tour show at New York’s Barclays Center, Madonna welcomed to the stage honorary #UnapologeticBitch Anderson Cooper, who may have gotten more than he bargained for. (Then again, what would you expect from Madonna?)

The esteemed silver-haired CNN host was pulled onstage during the pop star’s performance of “Unapologetic Bitch,” and that’s when things got a little crazy… like, bachelorette party crazy.

It started off innocently enough, Madonna looping her arm with Anderson’s for a fun do-si-do. Within a few seconds though, she had her troupe of male dancers bend Cooper over as she proceeded to spank him. From there, the shenanigans only escalated, Madonna yelling, “Now you’re gonna get it!” before vigorously humping the Anderson Cooper 360 anchor from behind.

After the impromptu dry-humping sesh, Madonna and her dancers led their special guest back to the front of the stage, during which all (including Cooper) stopped briefly to punctuate the “f*** you” lyrics of the song with enthusiastic middle fingers. Once back on the main stage, the silver fox continued to cut loose, showing off his club-ready moves while Madonna slid between his legs and performed some rather impressive air humps on the floor.

You think that would be more than enough tomfoolery for a CNN news host, but Madonna wasn’t done with him just yet. “That was like the low-key CNN style, right? That’s CNN unapologetic bitch!” Madonna playfully shouted before telling Cooper that he wasn’t “going anywhere” and to “stay in the box.” Then, a really wacky thing happened: Madonna gifted Anderson Cooper with his very own “nutritious” banana.

“You know, there are so many things that you can do with a banana,” she told Cooper, coyly adding, “A banana can save your life. It’s nutritious and… it’s nutritious. And it can really fill you up. Yeah. So yeah, anyway, I’m sure you’ll figure out what to do with it.”

It was promptly at that moment that Anderson Cooper peeled and began to eat his banana.

After all, blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Madonna.

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